the littlest things.

Over the weekend the cell group guys plus bobo and I decided to go to Sunset Grill and Bar near Seletar Camp for dinner. Well, the only reason why the guys wanted to go is because the place served some crazy spicy buffalo wings, from level one spiciness all the way till level 30 (or 35 so I've heard). Apparently if your table can down the whole plate of level 30 chicken wings, you get your names written in the 'Hall of Fame'. Of course, knowing such a challenge, the cg will definitely go. I really can't think of any other group of people I know that would do crazy things like that. Anyway Bobo and I decided to just go and watch the fun.

Well when it arrived on the table it was bright red, smelled abit like the guinea pigs and rabbit section at the zoo, and was covered with chilli padi seeds. And from some end of the table someone went, 'I have a very bad feeling about this'. We decided to leave the wings till the end of dinner so as not to spoil our meal. Anyway someone decided to take a lick of gravy, and it was sorely regretted. Haha. Its the kind of deceptive spiciness that doesn't seem bad at the beginning but intensifies, and stays in your mouth for a really long time till it begins to hurt.

So everyone had a bit of the nasty wings except me, because I can't take spicy stuff let alone level 30 of anything. And the champion is BOBO! Haha, she didn't even flinch while some of the guys were gulping down cups of milk and water and perspiring buckets.

It was quite bad, some people left with swollen lips but yay at least all of them who ate the wings had their names written down in the hall of fame. Haha.

I did a home DIY dye job for clement today! Haha, he got sick of being ridiculed for his orange leopard hair so he decided to dye it back to a more normal colour. Had a full bottle of dye that I hadn't used, so decided to experiment on him. Haha hopefully it goes well, he's still waiting for the colour to take effect.

Its supposedly Mahogany Copper Brown. OOO.

I tried to sleep, but I am hungry so I can't and thus I've decided to blog a bit till the hunger pangs go away then attempt to sleep again.

Had some spare time today, and did a bit of blog hopping. All these angsty teenagers ah yo, emo nemos all of them. Of course me branding them as emo nemos does nothing for them, but sometimes I wonder what is it that makes them so upset all the time. As I read on, from post to post, I realised that all of them at some point crave love and relationship with another person. Boyfriend, girlfriend, what have you. Somehow its like some vicious cycle. When you're in a relationship, you grumble and complain about the pain and heartache. Then when you are not in it, you mumble and moan about how you wish there was someone to love, and love you back. Funny, how some of them think its some kind of ethereal solution to all their issues.

I don't think being in a relationship is anything like what we see in movies. There are no picturesque korean drama moments, no constant residence on cloud nine. In fact, being in one is hard work. A lot of hard work. Sure the beginning is kind of cute, the I-like-you-you-like-me-but-let's-not-tell-each-other-GIGGLE-GIGGLE-GIGGLE-oh-emotional-turmoil. But after that, when you've had your honeymoon period, it gets tough, and it takes a lot of humility, sacrifice, and patience as you learn about each other, and sometimes you get hurt in the process as well. But I guess that's just it, we all need a bit of 'tough polishing' at times, and I'm glad for the trying times as well as the good (: Haha I read somewhere that God has to put people and relationships through the test of fire, just like silver, till it's refined and so shiny that His goodness is reflected in it. I really like that analogy, makes you view any kind of hardship in a different way.

I'm glad for Edwin, haha although we are as different as night and day. Sometimes the differences get on our nerves, but if we were exactly the same I think it would be terribly boring. Anyway I think opposites are fun. For example, I hate olives, but he likes them, I hate raw onions, but he likes them. I love sweet stuff, but he doesn't particularly enjoy them. So we have a very efficient system, where we finish off whatever the other doesn't like and we never ever waste food. Haha.

Awesome.

Okay toodles to bed.

Time flies rather quickly. In another few weeks or so I will be back on a plane to Melbourne. But interestingly it feels different this time. This time, I'm actually looking forward (in some aspects) to going back. New school term, new house, new housemates... exciting stuff. And I'm making sure that this time I don't allow myself to be cooped up in the house like a hermit. I will go bushwalking or take spinning classes, or SOMETHING so that I don't corrode away during the colder months. I shall also make a resolution of cycling to school as my form of transportation. Cuts costs on transport money and convenient form of exercise, haha let's hope all these resolutions actually work themselves out.

Housing is still an issue, had to face several disappointments over the course of these few weeks, and its been quite mentally taxing and frustrating. A place that we were really eyeing was taken up at the very last minute this week, and all that pre-planning and negotiation got flushed down the proverbial toilet. At times, its been tough believing that God will provide a place that's just right, and I've caught myself doubting and fussing about a lot of things. But in the back of my mind, somehow I know that it's going to be okay. I don't really know how I know, logically I should be losing my marbles, but there's just this small but firm little comfort that reminds me of God's amazing providence for things that He knows I need. So if I fuss incessantly and unnecessarily again, someone please pinch me or slap me.

Dylan and Thea (my very small godsiblings) came over on thursday, and I had a foretaste of what my life could possibly be like in another 6 to 8 years. Ah kids. Dylan is in his terrible twos, and has discovered words like 'No' and 'I don't want' and sounds like 'AHHHHH!', 'WHEEEEEE!', and 'WOOOO!'. Haha, and sometimes I don't really know what to do with him. I've realised that little boys like to bully me, especially during meal times because they know in their minds that I am not their mom or someone of massive importance so they can run around or refuse to chew their food, KNOWING that I am rather powerless. Last time I helped babysit jon mann for lunchtime, he ran circles round the church office and I had to scoop him from the floor and carry him back to the pantry repeatedly. Dylan just decided to chew his macaroni at a glacial speed while watching Word World on tv.

Thea is best. Because she is 4 months and she basically is a self entertaining baby. Haha, she just gurgles and giggles to herself while playing with a small towel, and she is the most cheerful baby I know. (:

Wanted to upload this picture of her but my bluetooth pairing between my phone and laptop is not working at the moment. Oh well.

Haha tried baking earl grey muffins, they sounded delicious in the recipe, smelled pretty good when they were baking, looked a bit deflated when done, and basically tasted like some sort of weird bread (not cake, not muffin, mind you which was what I was trying to bake). So basically I suck at baking. But I shall console myself that at least I'm not a total failure at cooking. (:

I sometimes wonder why oh why did I not pay more attention and put in more effort when my piano teachers taught me how to sightread. Which has resulted in years of ignoring scores and just relying on my ears to play - which though some people think is good, actually has some disastrous side effects. Like taking 3 minutes to read the first line in a score that I am attempting to learn now. Some people think I might be pitch perfect, but no I am not so pro. I think I memorized what each note should sound like, and to which I matched the played sound to the sound in my brain. Haha. Pro-ness is that of BOBO! Who can tune guitars and cellos with no tuner.

I know it, one day, if by some unfortunate incident I lose my sense of hearing, that's it man I can kiss my piano and guitar bye bye.

Its O level madness this week. Can't believe its been close to 5 years since I took my O levels. I am old.

While listening to some robin williams stand-up comedy clips:

"Recently there was a Bono concert in which he (bono) became silent for a moment before he started clapping his hands. And he said, 'Everytime I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies'. And from the back of the audience a Scottish guy stands up and yells 'THEN STOP CLAPPING YOUR HANDS!'"

AHAHAHAH.

Everybody has nice countdown blog entries. But I am EPIC because it just dawned upon me that I didn't even realise that the countdown happened. It came and went, and I spent my last minutes of 2009 sending an email, and poof it was 1am.

Everyone was at some countdown party or at church or at the beach with their boyfriend (*cough*pacey*cough*) and I was alone listening to John Mayer and typing an email, with an upset stomach. Very nice.

I was nearly hit by a car today too. Came too fast round the bend, and I was lost in my own thoughts to realise quickly enough. Just lightly grazed the side of my knee with the bumper like last time, but thank goodness nothing happened. And just like last time I dazedly walked off like nothing happened, and I think my brain only got around comprehending it about 5 minutes later.

Please don't bruise tomorrow.

I think I totally abandoned this space. Haha, not because I have nothing to blog about, but more like I've been incredibly lazy about documenting my holidays. I'm just enjoying time spent at home with friends and family, and other perks like not having to cook every meal myself, and youtube-ing like mad, and eating eating eating lots of hawker food.

Another year gone quite frighteningly fast. To say that 2009 has been an eventful year would be an understatement. I went through the last most stressful part of poly, graduated, mind-boggled over university applications, finally made the decision to go overseas...went there in July, ZOOMED 5 months, and back again. Lots of stuff in between too. Looking at the year ahead, I'm feeling surprisingly stoic. Another fast year, and that's it my time in melbourne is done and I would graduate and dive head-first into the working world, at the age of 21. I don't really know whether that is a good thing, but oh well.

Through it all, God has been good. Bad times, good times, He is still the same and always faithful. (: Sometimes I really wonder what He sees in me, but I thank Him for loving me anyways (: So next year is going to be challenging, being away from home for almost the full year. But I think it will be okay cos He will see me through it, and its nice to know He won't leave me in the deep end of the pool to struggle alone.

I don't think I'm going to set any new year's resolutions because, what I've learnt over the years is that everytime I do, I don't keep to them or rather I just cleanly forget everything. I think I'm not a long-term-goal person. But I will live day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month and set realistic, small, timely stuff (: Small things like not peeling my nails, or to sleep earlier, or to (argghhhhhhh) go running.

So bye-bye 2009, hellooooooo 2010. Please don't hurt me.

Its nice to be back. Nice to be back with family and friends, and nice to see people's surprised faces when I turned up at cg and church - partly because I didn't tell anyone when I was coming back except my family and edwin. Haha so there was a bit of cheap thrill seeing everyone point at me with mouths gaping before smiling.

Bobo and Glory please come back soon! Everyone here is mugging for exams and I am friendless till the end of the month!

I have this bad feeling that I really might not want to go back when Feb rolls around. Then again, maybe not. New year, new opportunities, new experiences! (: Though I know that I will be homesick all over again, I'm looking forward to what school has in store for me, and new people and new things to deal with. As for the housing headache, I'm going to let God deal with it - because I am on holiday yo. And God cares for me so I'm sure He will find a roof over my head.

Look who decided to be funny today.

To say that I'm not at all bothered by issues regarding housing for next semester would be lying, and an understatement. I don't obsess about it, but it lingers and hangs in the back of my mind, slowly nagging and nagging. Maybe I debate with myself too well and I can't win myself on either side of the arguments I form in my head, I don't know.

Perhaps its like that for many people who go overseas to study (or at least those who aren't spoilt princes and princesses), but I suddenly feel that I had to do a lot of rapid growing up during these past few months. I had to deal with loneliness, be responsible with big amounts of money, buy groceries, learn to cook properly, compare prices, pay bills, work out expenditures and budgets, be organized..etc. If you know me well enough, I suck at being organized and planning out things in advance, but suddenly I'm like thrown into the deep end. Well I don't think I died, but it was quite a struggle in the beginning. And now, the housing issue is another 'grown-up-ish' thing to deal with.

Went to view a couple of units yesterday, hoping that it would maybe provide a good solution, but I left feeling like that wasn't really what we were looking for. Spent an hour after that working out budgets, utilities, internet, furnishings, transport money and reviewing other options, but there were so many factors to consider and many of which do not sit well with our plight. Me and yinglin are going back for the summer break, and finding 2 rooms in a house now is actually not that hard, but most of these places want us to move in now - which we are not so keen on doing because it means having to pay empty rent. But if we come back earlier to look for a place, it might be too late because all the good places would be taken up.

So there lies the main problem and a whole lot of other little factors in between. I went home last night feeling a bit defeated with all the so-called issues, but then I think I decided to just let God handle it. Because I can't. But I have faith to know that He will provide a place, despite our predicament - just because He cares and because He can. Because if cares enough to clothe the lilies of the field and feed the sparrows, surely He will do much more for me (: And so, I slept well last night.

Honestly I do believe that God may have superhero syndrome. Haha, its always been like that through my life. There'll always be a seemingly unconquerable mountain of a situation, and then we'll worry and struggle for a bit, but then when it seems all is hopeless, He'll swoop in like superman and save the day. He should have like a slogan, like Always Delivers.

Haha sounds like a FedEx tagline.

"The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with"

- Mac Mcguff, from Juno

Like possibly one of my favourite quotes ever.

Its not fair to have a paper on a public holiday, nope. Its Melbourne Cup day, and everywhere I see people dressed up in funny hats and head pieces and I'm having my exams at the racecourse. No seriously. Like an actual racecourse with a track and a stable with horses nearby somewhere.

But its a nice racecourse, nicer than the one I went to at Kranji that was filled with smoking, swearing uncles. The worst part of exams is that moment of waiting before the paper, where everyone is gathered outside like cows and sheep before being herded inside. However, one thing I don't like about this racecourse venue is that the whole building is made of glass walls, and sunlight comes in from everywhere and it actually gets really annoying because its too bright. Someone in my class suggested that we should all just wear sunglasses to the exam.

Had to take a cab today, because I don't trust melbourne's bus systems. They aren't always on time, and because I stay so far I have to change 2 buses to get there. Thank goodness I took a cab because I realised its melbourne cup day, which means buses are EVEN more inaccurate and infrequent. Probably would have missed the paper.

1 down, 2 more to go, and then its home sweet home (:

I really did, and it wasn't the wisest thing to do, and I probably wouldn't ever do it again. The last time I hitchhiked was with the big bunch of cg people and we hopped on the back of a lorry out of sentosa. Haha it was fun though, I have pictorial evidence! But this time's hitchhiking wasn't so fun.

It was sunday, and I had missed my bus because of some mix up with the bus timings available at the bus stop versus the internet. Melbourne's transport system major fail. Anyway, was rushing to get to church and to catch the train so I wouldn't be late, but I missed the bus. So while waiting, for the next one which was in about another half hour's time, this red car pulled up next to the bus stop. Inside was this indian man, old enough to be my father.

He asked me if I needed a ride to somewhere, which was very odd because I didn't stick out my thumb to hitchhike I was just sitting at the bus stop. I was a bit shocked and puzzled, but then he was saying that he was going straight ahead - just happened to be in the same direction as the train station. So reluctantly, and not wanting to be late I hopped into the car, with quite a few sirens ringing in my head.

In my frenzy, I forgot to put on my seat belt. At this point, the indian man reaches over and touches my thigh and asks me to put on my seat belt. I was officially quite freaked, but try to remain normal, haha and I can remember praying very hard that I wouldn't end up whisked away to some other place instead of the station. So in the car, the man tries to strike up a conversation with me, asked me where I lived, where I studied..etc. I just politely answered and twiddled my thumbs while he drove.

Thankfully he really did drive me to the station, but before I left he asked me to go out for coffee sometime. By this time, in my head I was looking like this o__________0. So I thought it polite to just say 'yea maybe', and then he asks for my email or contact number. I wasn't about to give him my number, so I just hurriedly said my email address since I figured that via email I can always have the option of not replying, and he can't do anything to me.

When I reached home today, after a stayover night at a friend's. I check my email, and AHHHH he really emailed me for coffee!!! I am quite surprised at this point, at how he got my name right, because I only said my name once very hurriedly and most people cannot get my name right on the first try. But oh man, I am never going to hitchhike again.

At least I'm safe. But the irony of the whole thing, is that when I reached the station, they had closed the ENTIRE train line connected to my suburb for the day. So ended up having to take a railway bus to the city. Facepalm moment.

I didn't crack a single smile or laugh today. Criminology and Communications lectures and notes are by the mountain load, and exams are the week after, and I'm just not that confident of my ability to write really fast and think coherently at the same time within a span of 2hrs and more than 2500 words to crank out.

I had no human contact today how sad is that. Stayed home, and both anna and bill were out totally didn't see them around at all today, only bobby the dog was my companion and even he gave up staring at me after a while since I didn't give him any food.

Zapped of happy today. But tomorrow seems promising for a happy day! Sunshine, church, friends! PEOPLE! Ah I am so socially starved.

Late afternoons, are the slowest part of my day. And because my room is so small, from my chair all I need to do is lunge at my bed and I will reach it. But I must resist. Once I hit the pillow for a nap that's it man 90 mins gone. So in a bid to distract myself from sleeping I have been nom-nom-ing away. Since lunch at 2 plus, I've consumed a jar of yogurt and a container of yan yan biscuit sticks. Tomorrow, in a bid to make myself feel better I shall attempt to run in the evening. hmm or maybe now.

toodles.

Major attack of the munchies monsters today.

In a span of 24 hrs I have eaten:

1 huge focaccia avocado chicken sandwich
1 chocolate coated florentine
1 box of yam yam chocolate dipping sticks (LOVE THIS THING)
1 cup of instant noodles
1 small box of cornflakes
2 slices of buttered raisin toast

And I am still hungry. Okay fine, not hungry just in a nom-nom mood. On the topic of food, this counting down of going home is starting to get to me and I can't wait.

Things on my list to eat when back home:
-beef kway teow from Amoy Street food court (the most awesome thing ever)
- Chicken rice
- Laksa from behind my house
- kway teow teng from uncle selling noodles behind my house (I go so often that all I have to do is stand in front of his stall, and he knows my exact order without me having to say anything. Kway teow teng, no tau gay, no veggies)
- Home cooked meals
- Prawn noodles
- Hokkien mee from Chomp Chomp
- Sting ray from Chomp Chomp
- BBQ chicken wings
- Or luah
-Teochew porridge from that stall along hougang
- Roast duck rice from the coffee shop below Grace's house
- Macdonald's (I know this sounds silly, but seriously the macs or mackers as they call it here is not nice at all, and you have to pay for ketchup! I feel so deprived)
- Tau hway
- Japanese food (Jap food here is not good, mutant sushi rolls I tell you.)
- Nasi lemak
- Kway chap
- YAMI YOGURT!!!

I know I'm so going to be fat from all this before I go back next year.

Ok this is all I can think of now, but I have a feeling there's more at the back of my head. Haha if you want to be nice you can buy me lunch/dinner/breakfast of any one of those things and I will be a very happy girl. (:

Just handed in my last assignment this week for the semester! Woo, I am happy, but it doesn't feel like I'm that liberated yet. Big test coming up next friday, and exams in about 3 weeks. Funny how I am staying up and having later nights here doing assignments and writing papers, than in poly. I think in poly there was a lot of running around, like projects and labwork and photojourn (oh my) in the dark room, but not alot of hardcore essay writing. And for some reason, it doesn't really seem like university life is that much more relaxed, though contact hours and tutes are alot shorter. But in the big scheme of things, I still feel like there isn't enough time to do assignments at times.

I think when I was 13 or 14, and Amy Teo was in university at the time, I vaguely remember her telling me, that JC would be the worst 2 years of my life but University will be the best days of my life....haha and I remember envying her school timetable that was like 1 or 2 classes per day. Now I'm in uni, but it doesn't seem that way, in fact I would still think that sec 3/4 was the best years of my life. Even though there was prep for O levels and stress, but it was a very fulfilling 2 years.

Feeling a bit like a deflated tyre, because suddenly all the assignments are done and I almost feel significantly lighter, and a bit floaty, but definitely tired. 4 more weeks of chionging and mugging, and then its home sweet home!

And yet I still keep listening to them. I think its something to do with the melody, all their songs have such like haunting melodies almost the same type of vibe as those korean drama theme songs.

Today was a lonely day. I spend many days alone, but today was a lonely day. I think partly because the weather was so awesome but I had no one in particular to share it with and ended up having to go to the school library to do research for my essay. It was sunny today, sunny to the point of not need a jacket and rolling my sleeves up, and actually feel the burn of the sun on my skin. Tomorrow will be sunny too, but the whole of next week is summed up to be depressingly rainy and cold. Never, have I checked the weather page so frequently in 20 years of my life until I came to melbourne. Everything revolves around the weather here. We get emails about the weather, plans have to be changed because of the weather, I even have to check the weather before I leave the house in order to decide what clothes and shoes to wear.

Ended up spending some part of my night re-watching cheryl's sappy korean drama that she lent me from home. Pacey I finished the whole series in 2 days hahahahhaa. Very unproductive when I was doing my essay, but it was addictive and I had to finish it.

In other news, my friend wendy is going to jump out of a plane tomorrow, and parachute down to safety. She asked me if I wanted to come along, but I said I have something against very suicidal simulated activities. And it will cost me 500 bucks. Haha close to a month's rent for 2 mins of dropping through clouds.

God's great really. Haha He does the most awesome things for you, even when you don't ask or don't deserve it. Today he decided to bless me with really good grades for my 60% essay that I was slogging over a couple of weeks back, and really all glory to Him and I can't possibly claim any for myself because its definitely not by my ability alone. AWESOMEZXZ.

Today, something else made me smile. I chanced upon this group in the US called Improv Everywhere. Basically they go around doing street pranks or gimmicks, not to make money, but simply for the purpose of making people smile and laugh. And some of their 'missions' are really fun, like this one where they get about 6 people to stand staggered on some steps next to an escalator in the subway during peak hour, and they all hold up signs. So here it goes.

Person 1: ROB WANTS
Person 2: TO GIVE YOU
Person 3: A HIGH FIVE!
Person 4: GET READY!
Person 5 (rob): Big smile on the guy's face with his hand stretched out to the people on the escalator, with his other hand pointing to his palm
Person 6: Holding a sign that says 'ROB' with an arrow pointing downwards on person 5.


You can see the pictorial evidence here: http://improveverywhere.com/2009/02/09/high-five-escalator/

Its really some kind of amazing. Haha and I love seeing all these random people just smiling and giving high-fives to Rob, and just having some smiles on a gloomy winter's morning during peak hour. They have a lot of other initiatives too on their website, like giving dollar bills to people on the train, and having invisible dogs, and having a 'pant-less' day...

Hope it makes your day like it did for mine!

So I'm still sick, which kind of sucks, but at least I'm slowly recovering. Finally got myself down to a doctor that day, and I do have to blog this because its so funny. Getting to see a doctor here is some difficult business. Australia has a weird policy where you have to make an appointment to see a GP, and you have to make like 2 days in advance. This, to me does not make any sense, because how on earth do you pre-empt that you're going to be sick? If you're sick you need to see a doctor pronto right?

Weird systems aside. After an unsuccessful try of seeing a doctor over a weekend, I decided to go to the clinic in campus. Called for an appointment on monday, they told me they are all out, and to call back on tues for an appointment. On tues, I just marched myself right up to the counter and told them that I was sick for a week and have been coughing my lungs out and needed to see a doctor. Apparently it worked. Because after making me do some administration, they quarantined me in a huge empty room (together with yinglin, who accompanied me to the clinic) and got the both of us to wear surgical masks because they thought I was contagious. So its two masked up girls sitting on separate chairs, in a big empty to-be-renovated office/room being stared at by people who walked past the glass windows. I couldn't stop laughing.



After we took this picture, we wondered why we even bothered to smile beneath the masks. And those surgical masks and so stuffy, my goodness I wonder how those surgeons wear those all day long.