the littlest things.

Its nice to be back. Nice to be back with family and friends, and nice to see people's surprised faces when I turned up at cg and church - partly because I didn't tell anyone when I was coming back except my family and edwin. Haha so there was a bit of cheap thrill seeing everyone point at me with mouths gaping before smiling.

Bobo and Glory please come back soon! Everyone here is mugging for exams and I am friendless till the end of the month!

I have this bad feeling that I really might not want to go back when Feb rolls around. Then again, maybe not. New year, new opportunities, new experiences! (: Though I know that I will be homesick all over again, I'm looking forward to what school has in store for me, and new people and new things to deal with. As for the housing headache, I'm going to let God deal with it - because I am on holiday yo. And God cares for me so I'm sure He will find a roof over my head.

Look who decided to be funny today.

To say that I'm not at all bothered by issues regarding housing for next semester would be lying, and an understatement. I don't obsess about it, but it lingers and hangs in the back of my mind, slowly nagging and nagging. Maybe I debate with myself too well and I can't win myself on either side of the arguments I form in my head, I don't know.

Perhaps its like that for many people who go overseas to study (or at least those who aren't spoilt princes and princesses), but I suddenly feel that I had to do a lot of rapid growing up during these past few months. I had to deal with loneliness, be responsible with big amounts of money, buy groceries, learn to cook properly, compare prices, pay bills, work out expenditures and budgets, be organized..etc. If you know me well enough, I suck at being organized and planning out things in advance, but suddenly I'm like thrown into the deep end. Well I don't think I died, but it was quite a struggle in the beginning. And now, the housing issue is another 'grown-up-ish' thing to deal with.

Went to view a couple of units yesterday, hoping that it would maybe provide a good solution, but I left feeling like that wasn't really what we were looking for. Spent an hour after that working out budgets, utilities, internet, furnishings, transport money and reviewing other options, but there were so many factors to consider and many of which do not sit well with our plight. Me and yinglin are going back for the summer break, and finding 2 rooms in a house now is actually not that hard, but most of these places want us to move in now - which we are not so keen on doing because it means having to pay empty rent. But if we come back earlier to look for a place, it might be too late because all the good places would be taken up.

So there lies the main problem and a whole lot of other little factors in between. I went home last night feeling a bit defeated with all the so-called issues, but then I think I decided to just let God handle it. Because I can't. But I have faith to know that He will provide a place, despite our predicament - just because He cares and because He can. Because if cares enough to clothe the lilies of the field and feed the sparrows, surely He will do much more for me (: And so, I slept well last night.

Honestly I do believe that God may have superhero syndrome. Haha, its always been like that through my life. There'll always be a seemingly unconquerable mountain of a situation, and then we'll worry and struggle for a bit, but then when it seems all is hopeless, He'll swoop in like superman and save the day. He should have like a slogan, like Always Delivers.

Haha sounds like a FedEx tagline.

"The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with"

- Mac Mcguff, from Juno

Like possibly one of my favourite quotes ever.

Its not fair to have a paper on a public holiday, nope. Its Melbourne Cup day, and everywhere I see people dressed up in funny hats and head pieces and I'm having my exams at the racecourse. No seriously. Like an actual racecourse with a track and a stable with horses nearby somewhere.

But its a nice racecourse, nicer than the one I went to at Kranji that was filled with smoking, swearing uncles. The worst part of exams is that moment of waiting before the paper, where everyone is gathered outside like cows and sheep before being herded inside. However, one thing I don't like about this racecourse venue is that the whole building is made of glass walls, and sunlight comes in from everywhere and it actually gets really annoying because its too bright. Someone in my class suggested that we should all just wear sunglasses to the exam.

Had to take a cab today, because I don't trust melbourne's bus systems. They aren't always on time, and because I stay so far I have to change 2 buses to get there. Thank goodness I took a cab because I realised its melbourne cup day, which means buses are EVEN more inaccurate and infrequent. Probably would have missed the paper.

1 down, 2 more to go, and then its home sweet home (:

I really did, and it wasn't the wisest thing to do, and I probably wouldn't ever do it again. The last time I hitchhiked was with the big bunch of cg people and we hopped on the back of a lorry out of sentosa. Haha it was fun though, I have pictorial evidence! But this time's hitchhiking wasn't so fun.

It was sunday, and I had missed my bus because of some mix up with the bus timings available at the bus stop versus the internet. Melbourne's transport system major fail. Anyway, was rushing to get to church and to catch the train so I wouldn't be late, but I missed the bus. So while waiting, for the next one which was in about another half hour's time, this red car pulled up next to the bus stop. Inside was this indian man, old enough to be my father.

He asked me if I needed a ride to somewhere, which was very odd because I didn't stick out my thumb to hitchhike I was just sitting at the bus stop. I was a bit shocked and puzzled, but then he was saying that he was going straight ahead - just happened to be in the same direction as the train station. So reluctantly, and not wanting to be late I hopped into the car, with quite a few sirens ringing in my head.

In my frenzy, I forgot to put on my seat belt. At this point, the indian man reaches over and touches my thigh and asks me to put on my seat belt. I was officially quite freaked, but try to remain normal, haha and I can remember praying very hard that I wouldn't end up whisked away to some other place instead of the station. So in the car, the man tries to strike up a conversation with me, asked me where I lived, where I studied..etc. I just politely answered and twiddled my thumbs while he drove.

Thankfully he really did drive me to the station, but before I left he asked me to go out for coffee sometime. By this time, in my head I was looking like this o__________0. So I thought it polite to just say 'yea maybe', and then he asks for my email or contact number. I wasn't about to give him my number, so I just hurriedly said my email address since I figured that via email I can always have the option of not replying, and he can't do anything to me.

When I reached home today, after a stayover night at a friend's. I check my email, and AHHHH he really emailed me for coffee!!! I am quite surprised at this point, at how he got my name right, because I only said my name once very hurriedly and most people cannot get my name right on the first try. But oh man, I am never going to hitchhike again.

At least I'm safe. But the irony of the whole thing, is that when I reached the station, they had closed the ENTIRE train line connected to my suburb for the day. So ended up having to take a railway bus to the city. Facepalm moment.

I didn't crack a single smile or laugh today. Criminology and Communications lectures and notes are by the mountain load, and exams are the week after, and I'm just not that confident of my ability to write really fast and think coherently at the same time within a span of 2hrs and more than 2500 words to crank out.

I had no human contact today how sad is that. Stayed home, and both anna and bill were out totally didn't see them around at all today, only bobby the dog was my companion and even he gave up staring at me after a while since I didn't give him any food.

Zapped of happy today. But tomorrow seems promising for a happy day! Sunshine, church, friends! PEOPLE! Ah I am so socially starved.

Late afternoons, are the slowest part of my day. And because my room is so small, from my chair all I need to do is lunge at my bed and I will reach it. But I must resist. Once I hit the pillow for a nap that's it man 90 mins gone. So in a bid to distract myself from sleeping I have been nom-nom-ing away. Since lunch at 2 plus, I've consumed a jar of yogurt and a container of yan yan biscuit sticks. Tomorrow, in a bid to make myself feel better I shall attempt to run in the evening. hmm or maybe now.

toodles.

Major attack of the munchies monsters today.

In a span of 24 hrs I have eaten:

1 huge focaccia avocado chicken sandwich
1 chocolate coated florentine
1 box of yam yam chocolate dipping sticks (LOVE THIS THING)
1 cup of instant noodles
1 small box of cornflakes
2 slices of buttered raisin toast

And I am still hungry. Okay fine, not hungry just in a nom-nom mood. On the topic of food, this counting down of going home is starting to get to me and I can't wait.

Things on my list to eat when back home:
-beef kway teow from Amoy Street food court (the most awesome thing ever)
- Chicken rice
- Laksa from behind my house
- kway teow teng from uncle selling noodles behind my house (I go so often that all I have to do is stand in front of his stall, and he knows my exact order without me having to say anything. Kway teow teng, no tau gay, no veggies)
- Home cooked meals
- Prawn noodles
- Hokkien mee from Chomp Chomp
- Sting ray from Chomp Chomp
- BBQ chicken wings
- Or luah
-Teochew porridge from that stall along hougang
- Roast duck rice from the coffee shop below Grace's house
- Macdonald's (I know this sounds silly, but seriously the macs or mackers as they call it here is not nice at all, and you have to pay for ketchup! I feel so deprived)
- Tau hway
- Japanese food (Jap food here is not good, mutant sushi rolls I tell you.)
- Nasi lemak
- Kway chap
- YAMI YOGURT!!!

I know I'm so going to be fat from all this before I go back next year.

Ok this is all I can think of now, but I have a feeling there's more at the back of my head. Haha if you want to be nice you can buy me lunch/dinner/breakfast of any one of those things and I will be a very happy girl. (:

Just handed in my last assignment this week for the semester! Woo, I am happy, but it doesn't feel like I'm that liberated yet. Big test coming up next friday, and exams in about 3 weeks. Funny how I am staying up and having later nights here doing assignments and writing papers, than in poly. I think in poly there was a lot of running around, like projects and labwork and photojourn (oh my) in the dark room, but not alot of hardcore essay writing. And for some reason, it doesn't really seem like university life is that much more relaxed, though contact hours and tutes are alot shorter. But in the big scheme of things, I still feel like there isn't enough time to do assignments at times.

I think when I was 13 or 14, and Amy Teo was in university at the time, I vaguely remember her telling me, that JC would be the worst 2 years of my life but University will be the best days of my life....haha and I remember envying her school timetable that was like 1 or 2 classes per day. Now I'm in uni, but it doesn't seem that way, in fact I would still think that sec 3/4 was the best years of my life. Even though there was prep for O levels and stress, but it was a very fulfilling 2 years.

Feeling a bit like a deflated tyre, because suddenly all the assignments are done and I almost feel significantly lighter, and a bit floaty, but definitely tired. 4 more weeks of chionging and mugging, and then its home sweet home!

And yet I still keep listening to them. I think its something to do with the melody, all their songs have such like haunting melodies almost the same type of vibe as those korean drama theme songs.

Today was a lonely day. I spend many days alone, but today was a lonely day. I think partly because the weather was so awesome but I had no one in particular to share it with and ended up having to go to the school library to do research for my essay. It was sunny today, sunny to the point of not need a jacket and rolling my sleeves up, and actually feel the burn of the sun on my skin. Tomorrow will be sunny too, but the whole of next week is summed up to be depressingly rainy and cold. Never, have I checked the weather page so frequently in 20 years of my life until I came to melbourne. Everything revolves around the weather here. We get emails about the weather, plans have to be changed because of the weather, I even have to check the weather before I leave the house in order to decide what clothes and shoes to wear.

Ended up spending some part of my night re-watching cheryl's sappy korean drama that she lent me from home. Pacey I finished the whole series in 2 days hahahahhaa. Very unproductive when I was doing my essay, but it was addictive and I had to finish it.

In other news, my friend wendy is going to jump out of a plane tomorrow, and parachute down to safety. She asked me if I wanted to come along, but I said I have something against very suicidal simulated activities. And it will cost me 500 bucks. Haha close to a month's rent for 2 mins of dropping through clouds.

God's great really. Haha He does the most awesome things for you, even when you don't ask or don't deserve it. Today he decided to bless me with really good grades for my 60% essay that I was slogging over a couple of weeks back, and really all glory to Him and I can't possibly claim any for myself because its definitely not by my ability alone. AWESOMEZXZ.

Today, something else made me smile. I chanced upon this group in the US called Improv Everywhere. Basically they go around doing street pranks or gimmicks, not to make money, but simply for the purpose of making people smile and laugh. And some of their 'missions' are really fun, like this one where they get about 6 people to stand staggered on some steps next to an escalator in the subway during peak hour, and they all hold up signs. So here it goes.

Person 1: ROB WANTS
Person 2: TO GIVE YOU
Person 3: A HIGH FIVE!
Person 4: GET READY!
Person 5 (rob): Big smile on the guy's face with his hand stretched out to the people on the escalator, with his other hand pointing to his palm
Person 6: Holding a sign that says 'ROB' with an arrow pointing downwards on person 5.


You can see the pictorial evidence here: http://improveverywhere.com/2009/02/09/high-five-escalator/

Its really some kind of amazing. Haha and I love seeing all these random people just smiling and giving high-fives to Rob, and just having some smiles on a gloomy winter's morning during peak hour. They have a lot of other initiatives too on their website, like giving dollar bills to people on the train, and having invisible dogs, and having a 'pant-less' day...

Hope it makes your day like it did for mine!

So I'm still sick, which kind of sucks, but at least I'm slowly recovering. Finally got myself down to a doctor that day, and I do have to blog this because its so funny. Getting to see a doctor here is some difficult business. Australia has a weird policy where you have to make an appointment to see a GP, and you have to make like 2 days in advance. This, to me does not make any sense, because how on earth do you pre-empt that you're going to be sick? If you're sick you need to see a doctor pronto right?

Weird systems aside. After an unsuccessful try of seeing a doctor over a weekend, I decided to go to the clinic in campus. Called for an appointment on monday, they told me they are all out, and to call back on tues for an appointment. On tues, I just marched myself right up to the counter and told them that I was sick for a week and have been coughing my lungs out and needed to see a doctor. Apparently it worked. Because after making me do some administration, they quarantined me in a huge empty room (together with yinglin, who accompanied me to the clinic) and got the both of us to wear surgical masks because they thought I was contagious. So its two masked up girls sitting on separate chairs, in a big empty to-be-renovated office/room being stared at by people who walked past the glass windows. I couldn't stop laughing.



After we took this picture, we wondered why we even bothered to smile beneath the masks. And those surgical masks and so stuffy, my goodness I wonder how those surgeons wear those all day long.

So paps came over to melbourne and left. And now I'm alone again till another 6 weeks or so. The weather has been terribly erratic, it rained throughout the 4 days that my dad was here - which really sucked because we couldn't drive up to the nicer places outside of melbourne because of the cold. Dad totally miscalculated the weather here and didn't bring a jacket so he was freezing for about 2 days, before we could borrow one. But it was nice, having someone to talk to and travel with. I think I had been so accustomed to doing groceries on my own, that my dad got left behind in my dust several times haha because I like move from aisle to aisle very fast. The car, oh my the car was a Godsend. I can't imagine what it would have been like if we had to travel in the horrid weather without a car.

But now, in true melbourne style, its sunny. Sigh. I've been camping in my room since my dad left, trying to complete my assignments. Developed a terrible cough which is really distracting me at times, haha and I think my body kind of shut down right after my dad left. I was so determined not to fall sick during the 4 or 5 days he was here, that when he left it avalanched on me. Feeling rather tired of late, just want this whole process of endless assignments to finish up soon.

Exams aren't going to be any better I reckon. I stay so far away from the exam venue, which is oddly at a racecourse an hour away from where I stay. UGHHHHH.

Why are doctors here so expensive eh, without a health cover, a consult is 70 dollars. 70 dollars just to talk to someone who will point out what's wrong with you. 70 dollars doesn't include medication, so its really just paying someone to talk to you and tell you what's wrong with you. ZZZZ.

Too tired and busy to blog.




SPRING BREAK IS COMING SOON VERY SOON VERY SOON!

The one day that I actually have reason to go to school, the weather completely kills everything. Woke up, and it was cloudy, checked the weather forecast - SHOWERS. Great. The moment I stepped out of the door, it started to pour - double great.

And it hasn't stopped raining since.


When I was younger, I believed that it rained because God was sad. I would hold on to the window grilles of the balcony from our apartment (then), and watch the clouds turn from dark grey, to scattered murkiness, till the sky grew clear again, and then I would let go and stop watching the sky, convinced somehow that maybe God wasn't sad anymore and it was ok to stop watching. I also thought to myself when we had one of those strange days where it rained heavily while the sun was out and shining brightly, that God couldn't make up His mind. Either that, or he was crying happy tears of joy.


Haha I was a strange, queer child. Seriously think my imagination was like off the charts. I would actually go downstairs to the sand playground in the field (back then when we still had old school sand playgrounds and swings), and spend the longest time just looking at the grass blades and weeds and small plants. And I would imagine that I was so super small that all these green blades of weed and grass would form like a jungle, and I would live in that jungle and sleep in flowers.

Somehow I think I liked that. I liked that the place I grew up in was full of green shrubs, flowers and plants, and vegetables and trees that the neighbours grew, and in the middle of the playground was a huge angsana tree. My grandmother would bring me downstairs every now and then and do a bit of gardening for the pots of plants that we grew, and she taught me what plants you could eat, which ones you shouldn't touch and showed me what ginger, pandan leaves, and papaya trees looked like.

Every morning I would hear different sounds of birds, and every day at 7am there would be a bright blue kingfisher that sat on this pole in the middle of the grass patch. I remember once I picked up one of its blue feathers and I was so excited I kept it in my drawer amongst a whole load of crap I kept - haha small treasures like smooth stones, shiny rocks, clear beads that looked like crystals (of course now looking at them, they don't la but how was I to know right).

I think next time I would want my kids to grow up around trees and plants, and have imaginations, and not play Dota or WoW.

I think I was a horrendous person when I was 14. Haha, I remember not too long ago I was clearing out some of my old cards and stuff, and I came across this postcard that I had written to pass around to my project group mates regarding a PW project. Wah, I really would hate to know that person who wrote the postcard. So angsty, like a tyrannical warlord la scarrrrryyy.

No wonder I had so many friend troubles in sec 2. And now thinking back, because I couldn't figure out who was telling the truth and whatnot, I ended up listening and being swayed to gossip about one of my best friends in class at the time, and I found her letter to me about how sad she was that I wasn't talking to her or going for recess with her anymore. And because I was such a horrible friend, I even remember scoffing at it.

Hopeless case.

Thank God we made up and salvaged the friendship, and the 'sorry's were said, but its never really the same.

Aren't there just things in the past, younger years, things about yourself that make you curl up and cringe in unbelief that you were that same little twerp?

Like how to impress basketball seniors, I started speaking in ah-lian-ish chinese. *facepalm*

I also can't believe that I used to write like dis lorxzzz in every postcard I wrote to peeplesxxzz. True story, I have actual evidence in postcards. And evidence of people in church who write back to me lyk dis oso. It was the coolest way to write back then. Hahaaha. Thank God we all grew out of that phase.

Because when you think that you've hit the lowest point, you haven't. Because somewhere it will hit you in the face and you will sink even lower. And then when you think you can't go any lower, the floor gives way and welcomes you to a whole new low. Repeat process.

What is with this essay. Why are people not interested in writing journal articles about women in action film genres so that I can base some of my arguments off from and have a huge well of research to look at. Why.

fuzzy wuzzy likes strawberries but not pears
fuzzy wuzzy likes the moon but not the sun
fuzzy wuzzy doesnt like frowns nor smiles
fuzzy wuzzy likes dinner but not lunch
fuzzy wuzzy likes wooden spoons but not metal knives
so what does fuzzy wuzzy like?

Day out with Ying-a-lin today, was good to get out of the house for a bit. Spent my whole weekend last week alone at home and I shall NOT attempt that ever again. My 2 dollar slurpee from 7-11 tasted faintly like drain water I am not sure why.

Had a very satisfying lunch of vietnamese beef noodles, which is the closest I can get to beef kway teow which is fine by me. Bought new black flats to replace my old ones because they are completely falling apart and the material has expanded so much that when I walk the back part of the shoe falls out. Very embarrassing, so I figured it was about time to get a new pair.

Another hectic week coming up, need an extra portion of God's grace and less procrastination to get through the days. Today's weather is siao, but in a good way. It was 28 degrees today! Haha, felt like summer just slightly cooler and windier. And everyone is taking this opportunity to wear shorts and no coats, and even I ditched like wearing tights under my skirt because it was just too hot and I was actually perspiring. Haha first time in 2.5 months man.

But perfect weather really, it was sunny and bright and a nice day for strolling in the city. Even the night is nice, its about 15 degrees now I think, which is so weird cos about 2 nights ago it was 7 degrees at night, and 15 in the day.


I think God knew I needed a nice day today. (: I like how He knows these small things that make us happy, stuff that makes us smile. I like sunny windy days, and sunsets, what about you?

1) Got back one of my essays, did decently, still room for improvement!

2) Waited excruciatingly long for the bus home

3) Got lazy, didn't cook dinner and just had a sandwich instead

4) Had fresh strawberries with honey for dessert! No choice la, next best thing since I don't have chocolate syrup. Oh by the way, the dark chocolate kit kat that they have here rocks my socks.

5) Spent the whole night in silence. No itunes, no videos, no music. NOTHING.

6) I found out on facebook through a video, that my discipline mistress from TKGS is now, a farmer, explaining some sort of vegetable to random people. It completely cracked me up. All the people from my class are in stitches and disbelief, I think its some kind of mock vengeance thing haha since she particularly gave our class a hard time during school days.

7) Mouth itchy now, feel like eating.